Reflections: Naseeb

Many times I thought that if something didn’t work out for you – you could have done this or done that or tried harder or if that one thing hadn’t happened then it would have worked out. But that’s not true. Every little, teeny tiny, insignificant thing happens for a reason. And those events and choices bring you closer and closer to where, what, and who you’re meant to be.

What an interesting concept, isn’t it? Your naseeb is determined before you were even born. How crazy is that? Choices you make in your life ultimately bring you things that are meant for you. Whether it is a person, a job, a move, or even something small – if it isn’t for you then it will not be yours.

We all have small stories of failure. Whether that’s if you got rejected for a job you wanted, got waitlisted for your top choice school, not ending up with the person you wanted to marry, made a big move and it didn’t work out, whatever it may be we all have our stories. No matter how hard you try, how much you give or love someone, if it isn’t your naseeb then it won’t work out. Sometimes we try so hard to put pieces together that were never meant to fit together. And sometimes that stings and it hurts. It hurts for a long time. But Allah has another plan for you. Just because we forget Allah at times doesn’t mean that He has forgotten about us.

“We plan and He plans. And He is the best of planners.” What a comforting thought to know that just because your plan didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that you’re meant to fail again and again. There’s a plan in place for you. Just refocus and try again. Growing up my dad would always say there’s good in everything. He would never be upset when things didn’t work out. No matter big or small if things didn’t go your way just understand that there is better in that. Refocus your plan and try again, and remember that there is a better opportunity out there for you.

“What’s meant for you will reach you even if it’s beneath two mountains. What isn’t won’t reach you even if it’s between your two lips.”

That quote always make me feel some type of way. Imagine that even if something is between your two lips and in your mind it’s a sure thing it can still be taken away at any moment because it wasn’t meant for you. And what is meant for you will reach you no matter how unlikely it may seem. That can be a hard pill to swallow. Trust me, I know. I never looked at the bigger picture, I was always focused on the now. Looking at what didn’t work out in the moment and not understanding that there is something or someone else out there for me. Over the years, I’ve learned that life is life – there are ups and downs but all I can do is trust Allah (SWT) and it’ll be okay.

My dua for anyone reading this is that may you always succeed and may your name be written next to the one you pray for.

Rupi Kaur & Sexism In The Workforce

Can we collectively stop bashing women of color for absolutely nothing? For a while now, I’ve been seeing many people essentially “meme” Rupi Kaur’s poetry. If you don’t know who Rupi Kaur is, she’s an Indian-Canadian New York Times best selling author, most well known for her book, “Milk & Honey.” Kaur addresses a wide array of topics in her poetry. She is a young woman of color who tackles relevant issues within our communities such as racism, sexism, and physical/mental/sexual abuse. Yet, there are still people out there who seek out to make the lived experiences and trauma of a brown woman, into a joke. I guess I’m missing the punch line. This is much larger than what I’ve been witnessing happen to Rupi. The constant mockery of women of color, especially within the workforce, is so disgustingly common, and yet so rarely addressed.

I’ve seen many people attempt to “call out” Kaur on her writing style and create “memes” using her simplistic structure, but making obvious statements, rather than something meaningful. Now, I’m not sure if these people are bored or whatever, or think they’re being “woke” and making this into satire, but it’s honestly one of the most pathetic and ways to waste your time. It’s not satire; it’s literally making a mockery out of a woman of color having her voice heard (for once). People believe Rupi Kaur is too “hyped up” for her poems. Everyone is has a right to their own opinions, I’m not a crazed fan myself, but I’m not going to sit here and mock her. Kaur’s poetry is known for being simple and straightforward. Much like Nayyirah Waheed, author of the book “Salt” who uses a similar style in poetry. Both are powerful and thriving. I could pull out a whole library of old white men who have been praised for their mediocre writing, but I guess it’s only deemed as a crime when a woman of color becomes well known for her writing. Can I also just take a moment to address the fact that this is a desi woman making huge waves in mainstream literature, and for none other than writing about the very real abuse that exists within desi households. She actively addresses the mental/physical/emotional/sexual abuse that persists to live on through generations as it’s so commonly brushed under the rug in the name of protecting “honor.”

It’s not satire; it’s literally making a mockery out of a woman of color having her voice heard (for once).

Suddenly, I’ve been witnessing all of these self-proclaimed literature buffs, and poetry experts come out of the woodworks trying to troll on the poems that made Kaur a well known author. What even is poetry, though? Last time I checked, at its core and simplest definition, it’s a creative avenue for self-expression, reflection, and thought. In this situation, deciding whether Kaur’s work is considered poetry or not, is not a philosophical or enlightened gesture, nor is it an exercise of critique. The way I’ve been seeing people actively come at her writing, is an attempt at silencing a voice that challenges normative poetic paradigms and mainstream literature. Why is Kaur’s poetry not considered “real” or valid enough to earn the notoriety and praise that it has gotten? Is it because it’s accessible and enjoyable for those who haven’t read poetry since they were forced to in high school? Is it because it uses simple language, rather than complex words one would need to look up on Google or have a college degree to understand? Or maybe it’s because her writing is not exactly what a man would desire to hear. Her writing is highly competitive with current white authors and that fact is astonishing people. Rupi Kaur’s poetry sidestepped major publishers, but we still feel the need to tweet dumb crap about how her writing is so “basic” and obvious.

Whenever I see people actively making a mockery out of Kaur’s poetry, it infuriates me. It infuriates me because I see it as feeding into the system of white supremacy and patriarchy. I feel like there’s a really fine line between making conscious intelligent critiques and flat out making fun of and being an active contributor to this toxic, wasteful “call-out culture.” Of course, no one is perfect, and no one can be completely exempt from problematic behaviors. However, any and all memes I’ve seen pertaining to Rupi Kaur have been solely attacking her choice of writing style. I guess it really does fire people up that a woman of color is a New York Times bestselling author. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen basic white men and women maintain ranks on the New York Times bestsellers list, but have their works ever really been as scrutinized as Rupi Kaur’s?

The way I’ve been seeing people actively come at her writing, is an attempt at silencing a voice that challenges normative poetic paradigms and mainstream literature.

At the end of it all, it really comes down to internalized racism and misogyny. Rupi Kaur has curated and built up the courage to literally expose her trauma out there into the world. She is choosing to voice not only her truth in an honest way, but also the truths and trauma of so many people across the world, especially women. This ongoing “critique” of Kaur’s style, isn’t really about her writing at all. It’s a direct attack on a woman of color speaking her truth in a fashion that white men cannot easily ignore. She’s reaching people on a large scale. Sorry (not really sorry), but I’d rather see the name “Rupi Kaur” at the top of the New York Times bestsellers list, rather than another “John Smith” or whatever.

This isn’t specifically about Rupi Kaur; it’s about women of color in any field and how we have to endure struggle so much more than anyone else. We always have to tolerate unwanted scrutiny and work that much harder to attain success.

Stop Romanticizing Exhaustion

It was Sunday night and I was doing the dishes while listening to the soundtrack of my favorite Disney princess movie, Tangled. I was singing along to “When Will My Life Begin” when suddenly a conversation about “when your life begins” started among my siblings and myself. What my 10 year old brother had to say, took me by surprise. Continue reading “Stop Romanticizing Exhaustion”